Our Beliefs:

We believe that conflict is inherently neither good nor bad, but is a normal part of human interaction caused by differences in what individuals want, need, perceive, and value. How people respond in the face of conflict is typically the problem. We usually feel angry, frustrated, nervous, or withdrawn around people with whom we disagree, and our work or personal relationship deteriorates as we avoid discussions, continually argue, or become stuck in impasse.

When people strongly disagree, their tension levels rise. Increased tension reduces blood flow to the brain and triggers an adaptive "fight or flight" response. This automatic nervous system reaction triggers a physiological shutdown of higher brain processes. When our higher level functioning is reduced, we become less able to take in information, process what we see and hear, make connections, and to engage in creative problem solving.

In other words, prolonged and strong dispute causes human beings to regress to a more primitive level of functioning. Under these conditions, most of us lose our ability to negotiate respectfully and resolve conflicts.

Our objective is to help people understand what is deeply, fundamentally important to them, and to express themselves in a way those with whom they are in conflict can hear, as well as to understand what is important to the other person, even if they do not agree with the other's perspective. In other words, we strive to create and maintain a connection that allows each to see the other as human and to feel empathy for the other's needs. When that kind of connection can be developed and maintained, we believe that the participants are most likely to reach agreements that enable them to co-exist and function effectively whether as family members, co-workers, co-parents, neighbors, or as members of their religious community.